a blog about faith and life by Rev. Cindy Maddox

Posts tagged ‘pastor’

A Note to My Newly Ordained Self

DSC_0590When I was interviewing with my current congregation, the search committee asked me a wonderful question: If you were able to write a note to your newly ordained self, what would you say? I came across my answer today and decided to share it.

A note to my newly ordained self

First, congratulations. You worked hard to get here. There were people who opposed your ordination on principle, but you believed in your call and you stayed the course in order to open the door for others. You should feel really good about that. Now don’t forget the lessons this process taught you:

  •          Rely on the strength of those around you.
  •          Believe in the power of music to get you through.
  •          Remember that the conflict was caused by clergy and the solution found by a layperson.
  •          Don’t take it personally.

That last one—that’s a big one. If you do your job well, someone will always be upset with you. Nine times out of ten, it’s not about you. That doesn’t mean you didn’t screw up. You probably did. But angry, wounded people will try to blame you. Listen to their complaints and if they have merit, take responsibility. If they don’t, learn to let it go. Learn now. It gets harder.

You know that problem they handed you the day you started at your first church? I hope you learned from that experience the importance of face-to-face conflict resolution. Also learn that you can’t fix in a day what took years to mess up. Be patient. With others and with yourself.

Lots of what you learned in seminary will serve you well in the church. Lots won’t. Few of your parishioners will care about your eschatology. Many will care about your authenticity. Be real. Be you. It’s not a bad thing to be. And remember that your greatest lessons will come from unexpected sources.

And that self-care stuff that experienced clergy talk about: they mean that. But you’re not going to understand until you’ve faced it, so I won’t waste my breath. Just try to remember one thing: you’re not Wonder Woman. Or, come to think of it, Jesus.

Since you’re not Jesus, you will not be able to raise people from the dead. And you will want to. You will sit and hold hands with the dying and will want desperately to keep them here . . . and not just for their loved ones’ sake, but for your own. You will lead funerals with your heart in your throat, which makes it hard to speak. But the good news is, any words you speak will come through love.

You will make mistakes; make them with love. Your judgment will not be perfect; err on the side of love. And when you find yourself stuck or frustrated or overwhelmed, remember that the way out is the way through and the way through is the way of love.

And finally, always remember the lessons you learned fishing with your dad:

  •         If the fish aren’t biting, try something else.
  •         The flashy lure may catch their eye, but it’s not enough to get them in the boat.
  •         Creatures that feel trapped will try anything to get free, and you can get hurt in the process.
  •         Sky and water are good for the soul.

Oh, and one more thing. Be grateful. If you are trustworthy, you will get to be called pastor.

Carpe Diem?

Carpe Diem motivacionWhen I was in college, I loved that phrase. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. It was a reminder to make each day count, an encouragement to follow my dreams, and a challenge to live a life of excellence. I wanted to live boldly, bravely. Carpe diem was the answer.

Now I am a little wiser.

Now I know that on some days, the best you can hope for is mediocrity. Excellence is a wonderful goal, and we should strive for it personally and professionally. But we also have to strive for sanity. Sometimes we just don’t have enough energy to be excellent.

Now I also know that hard times come when you can’t possibly “seize the day” because you are just trying to hold on. You are clinging with all your might to the cliff’s edge, and one more “to do” or one more disappointment or one more loss, no matter how small, could make you lose your tenuous grasp. You can’t seize the day when you’re just trying to survive it.

Plus, now I know that seizing the day means seizing all of the day . . . all that the day has to offer. And most days offer sorrow as well as joy, anxiety as well as fearlessness. Am I willing to seize all of that?

Take this week, for example. This week I started in my new role as Senior Pastor of the First Congregational Church, United Church of Christ, of South Portland, Maine. I am excited beyond words. From the moment I read the church profile, I felt drawn to this place. From the moment I met the search committee, I felt drawn to these people. From the moment I accepted the call to be their next pastor, I felt drawn closer to God as I seek to follow in the path I believe is God’s next right step.

But there is also trepidation. Every new pastor feels some anxiety in starting at a new church—or at least every honest one I’ve ever met. There are many uncertainties. Will everyone be pleased with my leadership? (Experience suggests that the answer is no.) Are they ready for the changes that will inevitably come with a new pastor? (Maybe.) Will I be everything they think I am? (Probably not.) Will the church be everything the search committee said it is? (And more!)

It is the beginning of a new journey, a new relationship, and I am a little nervous, yet certain. I am cautious, yet ready to be bold. I have already taken the plunge, a step into the only-partly-known waters of this congregation. But I am certain that I will swim. And I am certain that when I can’t, I will be held up. You can’t ask for more than that.

So I will seize this day, with all that it has to offer. And I will remember that I am seized, held, embraced, by God. Carpe Diem. Carpe Deum.